I Try
by C.F.Snape
Summary: Silly little ficlet right after the end of S2. Alec, Ellie and a bloody song. Rated T for one or two curse words. Fluff!
**A/N: I don't own the characters, nor the song (I Try from Macy Gray), I wish I could though. Please, R &R :)**

* * *

It was only one and a half an hour ago when Alec Hardy told the cab driver – after several minutes of hesitating – his destination. They were almost halfway to Sandbrook and the drive was silent except for the low music coming from the car radio. Alec knew that he should be happy: the Sandbrook-case was closed, the murderers were arrested, after all these years Pippa Gillespie and Lisa Newbury could rest in peace. His penitence was over and he can work on his relationship with his daughter. He will live closer to Daisy and maybe it wasn't too late.

Yet, Alec wasn't as happy as he should be. _Damn Miller_ , he thought, _damn handshake._ He wasn't someone who touched other people often so he didn't understand why wanted to touch her and hug her so badly.

'Shit,' he murmured and leaned his head to the car window, the cool glass touching his face. He didn't want to think so he decided to listen to the music, a song had just begun and Hardy closed his eyes to concentrate on the lyrics.

 _Games, changes, and fears_

 _When will they go from here?_

 _When will they stop?_

 _I believe that fate has brought us here_

 _And we should be together, babe,_

 _But we're not_

Alec groaned.

 _I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you_

 _I'll keep my cool, but I'm fiendin'_

 _I try to say goodbye and I choke_

 _I try to walk away and I stumble_

 _Though I try to hide it, it's clear_

 _My world crumbles when you are not near_

 _Goodbye and I choke_

 _I try to walk away and I stumble_

 _Though I try to hide it, it's clear_

 _My world crumbles when you are not near_

'Oh for fuck's sake', he said out loud and rubbed his face.

'Is everything alright?' asked the cab driver.

'Yes,' Alec grunted.

'I love this song,' the driver added and started humming, he didn't see when Alec rolled his eyes, 'Of course you do'.

 _I may appear to be free,_

 _But I'm just a prisoner of your love_

 _I may seem alright and smile when you leave,_

 _But my smiles are just a front, just a front_

 _I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you_

 _I'll keep my cool, but I'm fiendin_

Suddenly, before he could have stop his own mouth, Alec cried out loud: 'Stop!'

The cab driver jumped a little but stopped at the edge of the road.

'What is it?' he asked turning around. 'Are you sick?'

Alec looked at him surprised like he didn't understand why they stopped.

'No,' he said hoarsely. 'It's just…' he gulped, 'I want to back to Broadchurch.'

'Back to Broadchurch? But you just left it.'

'I bloody well know that and I want to go back. Now,' Alec replied more rude than he intended to but he didn't care that much. The cab driver nodded with a sceptical look on his face and turned round with the car. Alec felt his heart thumping hard like when he had his fits but at this time it wasn't because he was upset. He was excited.

~0~

The sun began to set when Ellie and the kids headed home from the beach. It was a lovely to spend a few hours with friends like normal people with normal lives do. However, Fred got exhausted from running around in the sand proved by falling asleep immediately after Ellie put him in the car seat. Tom also dozed off in the passenger seat, so Ellie turned on the radio in a low volume to pass the time until they got home – and to ignore her thoughts about Hardy. She regretted not hugging him immediately noticing the look on his face seeing her outstretched hand. And when they shook hands, she didn't want to let go. But she had to. At least that's what she thought. After this afternoon on the beach, she was unsure. She missed him. She wished he would have been there, with her children, with the Latimers.

 _I try to say goodbye and I choke_

 _I try to walk away and I stumble_

 _Though I try to hide it, it's clear_

 _My world crumbles when you are not near_

 _Goodbye and I choke_

 _I try to walk away and I stumble_

 _Though I try to hide it, it's clear_

 _My world crumbles when you are not near_

'Shit,' Ellie murmured, 'bloody song,' yet she didn't make a move to turn off the radio.

 _Here is my confession_

 _May I be your possession_

 _Boy, I need your touch,_

 _Your love kisses, and such_

 _With all my might I try,_

 _But this I can't deny, deny_

 _I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you_

 _I'll keep my cool, but I'm fiendin_

Tears started to form in her eyes and Ellie she really choked back a sob. She glanced at her children but they were sleeping peacefully. _Thank God_ , she thought. Ellie wiped her eyes and turned off the radio before she could break down. They were almost home after all.

'Tom,' she said louder and her older son opened his eyes. 'We're home,' Ellie said and hoped that her voice didn't revealed how she felt. She just wanted to be home and spend a quiet night with her boys.

So, she was pretty much surprised when she saw that Alec Hardy was standing at her front door.

'What is he doing here?' Tom asked.

'I don't know,' Ellie replied. 'Please, take Fred, and go inside, I'll talk to Hardy.'

Tom nodded, got out of the car and picked up Fred from the back seat. The toddler didn't even flinch in his sleep.

'Hello, Tom,' Alec said to the boy, Tom nodded at him and disappeared in the house. Ellie got out of the car as well and stopped a few feet from Alec. The sun was down but it wasn't dark yet. They watching each other, their features slightly obscured by the twilight though Ellie's orange coat practically glowed. After several minutes Ellie broke the silence.

'You came back,' she said in a low voice.

Alec wasn't able to talk so he just nodded.

'Are you staying?'

He nodded again.

'How long?' Her voice was quivering, and a tear escaped from her eye.

'As long as you want,' he choked and in the next moment a flash of orange almost toppled him to the ground. Ellie put her arms around Alec's torso, buried her head in his chest and sobbed.

'Miller, please, don't cry…' Alec whispered when he pulled her as close as he could and kissed the top of her head gently.

'I'm not crying,' she replied, her voice muffled by his jacket. 'And don't call me Miller.'

Alec chuckled and she giggled, too. After a minute or so, she pulled back but they didn't let go of each other.

'Would you like to stay for dinner?' she asked smiling at him.

'I don't know if it's a good idea…'

'Are you worrying about the boys? They wouldn't mind.'

'No. I was referring to your cooking skills,' he said with a small smile.

'Knob!' Ellie replied and hit him on his arm though after that she laughed a little. 'I was thinking about take-out.'

He nodded and she stepped out his embrace. She almost reached front door when he called out her name. She turned around and opened her mouth however she couldn't say anything because Alec kissed her on the mouth. For a few moments Ellie was stunned then she pulled herself together, reciprocated the kiss and deepened it. When she slid her tongue in Alec's mouth, he groaned.

After a few minutes, they pulled back. Their faces were flushed, their hair dishevelled, their breathing uneven.

'Ellie, I'm s –'

'Alec, if you're going to apologize for kissing me, I swear I'll redeem my promise about pissing in a cup and throwing at you.'

With that, she grabbed his hand and led him in the house.


End file.
